Letting Go
by twiinklestar
Summary: There was only one way that he could think of to help the mage let go. But it would never happen- especially because he was so hated now. KuroxFai smut.


**Letting Go**

**One-shot  
****Rated M for smut.  
****Disclaimer: I do not own TRC or it's characters. But I do own my story and because this is ****FanFiction****, I'm allowed to make it as OOC as I want.**

**A/N: This is my first yaoi. I don't know how good it will be. But I tried. I also think that it's my first Tsubasa fic too… I'm not quite sure. Well I hope I didn't let you down.**

In the new world that the travelers landed in, it was nighttime. This world was cold and the snow combined with the frigid winds made your toes turn blue if you stopped moving even for a second. Deciding it was best to find a place to stay for the night, Syaoran wrapped his arm protectively around the princess to keep her warm and started to trek through the thick blanket of white beneath his feet. The mage found nothing cold about the temperature and simply kept walking forward, Mokona in his hood, always a few strides ahead of the ninja. The magus was still angry that Kurogane had saved him, despite his objections and turned him into a bloodthirsty vampire. Kurogane grumbled, wrapping his arms tighter around his abdomen and drawing his cloak nearer. It was never this cold in Nihon.

"T-there," stuttered Syaoran. "A h-hotel."

The boy pointed to a sign, the words 'hotel' written with ultraviolet light. A sign hung beneath- vacancy.

Following the footsteps of the young archaeologist, the group shuffled into the hotel, stomping their feet on the welcoming mat and shaking the snowflakes out of their hair. The bell that rang upon opening the door followed with a man in a black suit and red tie to emerge from a walkway behind the counter.

"Konbanwa(1)." Greeted the man. "My name is Izumi Hironori and I'm the owner of this hotel. Are you looking for a place to stay for the night?"

"Hai," nodded Syaoran.

"All right, we only have two rooms left, will this be alright?"

The two children and the manjuu bun looked nervously at their elders. The two hadn't been getting along well at all since the incident.

Fai, noticing the children's worried faces, smiled wide –and fake-. "No worries Sakura-chan, Moko-chan and Syaoran-kun, Kuro… gane and I will share a room, right Kurogane?" Although it never showed on his face, it hurt Fai deeply, not to be able to call Kurogane his nicknames and he longed to do so, but he knew that by calling him said names, he would be crossing the line and he could not cross the line.

"Are you sure Fai-san? You can share a room with Sakura-hime and I'll go with Kurogane-san." Piped up the anxious archaeologist.

"It's okay Syaoran-kun. Right _Kurogane._"

"Tch." Kurogane strode off to the elevators, leaning his back against the wall, waiting for them to finish up at the sign-in desk. '_Stupid mage; Stupid rooms; Stupid hotel; Stupid world._' He thought, all the while, digging his finger nails deeper and deeper into his clenched fists. '_He knows how much I hate it when he calls me by my first name, damn it!_'

When the group had finished up, Kurogane glared at the mage who called over his shoulder, "Arigatou-gozaimasu(3) Hiro-helpful!" as if pointing out to him that he would call everyone else silly nicknames _but_ him because _he _didn't do what he wanted.

Growling, the ninja pushed the pad of his finger roughly to the warn out elevator button causing the doors to open. The entire elevator ride, Fai spoke cheerily with Mokona and the two children whispered in hushed tones to each other. When the doors opened on the third floor, Kurogane snatched the room key out of the kid's hand and stormed down the hallway to find his and the magus's room. He stopped at number 06 in the hallway, thrusting his key into the door and yanking it out before turning the door handle and pushing the door open.

The room had red walls and gray carpet flooring. There were two queen-size beds, each covered with six pillows; two red, three white and a golden one, arranged neatly at the head of the bed. The sheets matched the walls; red with intricate stitches of golden thread. He muttered something about it being stupid having so many pillows on a bed when someone was just going to throw them on the ground to sleep on the bed anyway. Then, he sat down on the edge of one, untying his boots and setting them in front of the small table alongside his bed.

Lying down, he sighed. '_Why do I let him do this to me! It's just some dumb names. I never even liked them to begin with. But now that he stopped calling me stupid things like Kuro-tan and Kuro-woof, I feel weird. I feel sort of… empty. I should have just left him there to die. But I couldn't. Not after I realized that-_' his thoughts were interrupted when the blonde barged through the doors, carrying a bag so tall he couldn't even see over it.

"-the hell are you doing idiot?" Kurogane questioned, sitting up.

"Syaoran-kun figured that the clothes in this world are similar to the ones we wore in Jade Country so he wants us to change into them." Answered the mage, pulling out two sets of clothes and throwing one of them bitterly at the ninja.

The ninja caught them. He stared at Fai regretfully. He didn't regret saving him but he did regret letting all this happen. If only he could have gotten into the water reservoir faster, maybe he could have saved Fai and his eye and none of this would have happened. But as he always said, one had to live in the present and forget about the past. So he did. Snapping out of his thoughts, his eyes focused to see Fai pulling his shirt over his head, exposing his pale, lean torso. Kurogane quickly averted his eyes, knowing that if he stared too long, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

In Acid-Tokyo, he had discovered that he was in love with the mage. He was damn sure that the blonde knew it too. He was also sure that Fai loved him back, but now that Kurogane had turned him into a vampire instead of leaving him to die, the magus was angry with him and showed him no mercy. He wished he could do something for the mage. Something that would let him release all the anger he was building up inside but the only thing he could think of, would never happen, especially because he was hated so much now.

He shook his head, taking a deep breath and began to remove his shirt too. Suddenly, he felt the bed sink behind him and two soft hands run up and down his back. His head snapped around quickly, shocking the nerves, sending a tingly feeling up his spine. Ignoring the tickling sensation, he snapped "-the hell do you think you're doing, idiot mage?"

He looked into the face of the paler man, still without his shirt. His one gold eye showed immense sadness and it broke Kurogane's heart to see him like this. He'd always been sad of course, but now, he just seemed sadder. Could saving his life really be that bad? Fai realized that he had let his mask fall and quickly brought it up again, staring harshly at Kurogane.

"This is what you wanted isn't it Kurogane? You saved my life so now I should do whatever you want. Isn't that right?" spoke the mage, sounding as heartbroken as ever as he let his fangs graze along the back of Kurogane's neck.

Kurogane bit back a moan, pushing the mage backwards. "Stupid, don't do things that you don't want to do. I saved your life but not so that you could do whatever I want you to!" he reprimanded.

For a moment, Kurogane swore he saw a look of rejection in the other man's eye. Maybe the mage did want this? But as quickly as it came, it left. Fai got off the bed, walking towards his.

"I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't do things I… don't want to do." He said, although it sounded more like he was convincing himself.

In an instant, Kurogane had Fai pinned, arms above his head, to his own bed. "Damn you, stop lying to me! You don't have to tell me the truth, but don't lie! I'd rather you say nothing at all!"

The ninja leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against the mage's. The blonde was quick to respond and the kiss got more and more heated. Kurogane ran his tongue along the mage's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Fai opened his mouth a little and his hands wandered through the ninja's jet-black hair, pulling him closer. The brunette let his tongue explore every crevice of the smaller man's mouth. Soon, their tongues were battling for dominance and Kurogane let him win. Pulling away from the kiss in need of oxygen, the taller man attached his lips to the other's neck, sucking greedily.

Fai let out a soft gasp as Kurogane sucked at a spot on his collarbone. Hearing the sound emitted from the blonde, he sucked harder, nipping at the skin. When Fai let out another soft gasp, satisfied, he moved lower. Licking a trail down the lean man's chest, he stopped at his flushed nipples, letting his tongue flick over one occasionally while tweaking the other between his forefinger and thumb. Fai arched his back, bringing his chest closer to Kurogane's mouth and Kurogane took his hands from the bed and ran his hands up and down his sides, stopping at Fai's hips to hold them down.

Before alternating, Kurogane lifted his head to place a gentle kiss to Fai's lips, then returned to his previous motion. Again, he moved on, licking down to his navel, letting his tongue dip into the bellybutton and out. He stopped at the waistband and his crimson eyes looked into one of light blue, asking if this was really what Fai wanted. When receiving an assuring nod, he removed his hands from their hold on the magus's hips and undid the button on his pants. Slowly and tentatively, pulling down the zipper, the ninja slid the vampire's black pants and boxers down to his ankles, leaving the mage to kick them off and him to return to the mage.

He gazed at the man before him. His once pale skin was now tinted a soft pink flush. A couple purple markings started to form on his torso. The blonde's shaggy hair was tousled and sweaty and his golden eye stared intently at him, wondering what Kurogane was staring at. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, Fai shifted, turning his head to the side and the ninja laughed.

"You look beautiful, idiot. That's why I'm staring."

Fai returned his gaze to his lover and smiled amateurish. Fai rarely smiled honestly and being able to be the one to cause his smile, Kurogane was happy. Leaving a delicate kiss on the blonde's forehead, he moved back down the hardness between his slender legs.

Before getting one more nod of assurance, he gave the tip a gentle kiss before licking his way around the head. Then, sliding his tongue along the slit, Fai released another soft gasp. He ran his tongue down the length, blowing afterward, sending a sharp chill up the mage's spine causing him to shiver. Leaving small kisses on his way back up to the head, he took the head in his mouth and sucked. Using his tongue to add more pressure, he slowly took a bit more in. He swallowed the bit of pre-cum that Fai had let spew down his throat and took as much as he could fit into his mouth. The magus let out his first throaty moan when Kurogane bobbed his head up and down, varying pressures with his tongue. He started to pump what small part he couldn't reach and Fai could feel himself reaching his point. He arched his back and almost forced himself down Kurogane's throat. Deciding that he would attempt to deep-throat the other man, Kurogane took the remaining distance in his mouth and the blonde let out a deep groan. But when he reached his high, he pushed the black one off of him using his foot and bolted up, panting and ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

"-the hell was that mage!" snapped an angry Kurogane, pulling himself up off the floor.

Fai gave a fake laugh as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I didn't want to waste myself before the main event silly Kuro-tan!"

Kurogane grumbled under his breath. '_Back to the fake smiles now, are we? Stupid lying mage._'

Replacing himself at the foot of the bed, the brunette rolled out a kink in his neck before asking "So do you want to be on the bottom or what, damn magician?"

The blonde tilted his head to the side adorably. He tapped his slender index finger against his lip. "I think that Kuro-wanko will be on top."

So Fai got down on his hands and knees in front of the larger man. Using the spilt liquid on the tip of his penis, Kurogane lubricated the other man's entrance. He sucked his fingers for a second, making sure to leave lots of saliva and then with as much care as possible, he forced one finger through the ring of tight muscle. Fai winced and took a deep breath. Slowly, Kurogane pulled his finger back a little and thrust it in again, deeper. After working in a second finger, he scissored them skillfully and curled them, tugging at the man's entrance. The blonde tried his best not to let the build up of tears spring from his eye. But when the pain subsided, he wiped the escaped tears away and told Kurogane he was ready.

Kurogane removed his fingers from the mage and held his hard on in front of the hole. He counted to three out loud and on the third beat, he pushed himself in. Fai gasped and whimpered in pain. The ninja stopped and waited, he was only head-deep. When the head in front of him nodded shakily, he continued on, moving in another inch or so. After a couple more minutes, Fai had adjusted and Kurogane wasted no time. He thrust into the magus and moaned as the tight walls clenched his manhood. He shoved himself in to his hilt, hitting the other man's prostate causing him to gasp. Kurogane grinned as he continued to pound into his prostate, his balls slapping against him. Reaching around Fai's pale stomach, he grasped his shaft and pumped it to the rhythm of his thrusts. He could feel himself getting to his point and he knew that Fai was reaching his as well.

Fai shut his eyes tightly. He mustn't give in. His erection was so hard that it hurt and it felt as if he was bleeding. He was going to explode any minute now but he couldn't let go. He wouldn't give Kurogane the satisfaction of bedding him.

Kurogane pumped faster and forced himself in one final time before spilling his seed into the wizard. Realizing that Fai still hadn't come, he tried to ride out the other's orgasm.

Fai bit his lip, drawing blood. He would not let go.

The ninja raised an eyebrow in confusion. '_Why is he still holding on? He's so close, I know it. But for some reason, he won't give in._'

"Let go already, idiot mage!"

Fai shook his head, his wispy blonde hair swaying from side to side. "No, I can't!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because- I just can't!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Let go!"

Tears sprang to his golden eye once again. He did his best to push the warrior away but it was futile. The black one held on with all his strength and he could feel himself giving in.

"Stop! I won't let you control me!"

Kurogane whacked himself in the side of the head. Of course, this was some sort of whose in charge thing.

"Listen to me mage. I'm not trying to control you. I'm trying to help you let go! I don't know how long you've been holding onto your past but you have to let go of it. You can't change whatever happened to you so just give in. I'm not trying to control you!"

Suddenly, Fai let out a laugh. But this laugh was different from his fake laugh. It was still fake, but in a way, it wasn't. It sounded almost evil.

"Don't try and tell me you're not trying to control me Kurogane." '_Oh joy, back to good ol' Kurogane again._' Said man rolled his eyes. "I know you are. You think that just because you saved my life against my will that I should bend over to your every will. Well I wont! You can say whatever you want but you have no clue about my past and I don't need your help!"

With one hand supporting his build and the other still pumping steadily at the other man, he had nothing to hit the blonde with. Instead, he lunged forward and sunk his teeth, deep into his shoulder, breaking the skin and letting the blood flow from the wound. Fai hissed.

"Listen damn it! Just let go already! Even if you don't believe me, idiot mage, I don't want to control you. I just want you to let go. It kills me to watch your stupid façade all day. And it's even worse when you act all secretive and depressed. You're so troublesome sometimes! I just want you to let go and be happy for once! So let go _Fai_!"

The mage's eye snapped open. _Fai_. The ninja never called him that. It was always stupid mage or idiot mage or anything else with the word stupid or idiot. Forgetting about holding back, he exploded into Kurogane's hand. With his eye still wide as a saucer, his body sunk down to the sheet, his stomach pressing uncomfortably against the sticky mess. The ninja released him and pulled the sheet up over his shoulders. He shut the light off and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. Tonight was enough. It'd all be best if they had a good nights sleep.

**--**

When Kurogane awoke in the morning, the magus was still wide-awake in the bed beside him. He hadn't moved all night and dark bags sat beneath his eye. He looked dead and the ninja couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty. Heaving the blonde over his shoulder, he pushed him into a bathtub filled with hot water and scrubbed the mage down, erasing traces of last night's activity. He changed him into clean clothes and swapped the sheets as well. And just as he though the mage would collapse dead any minute, he spoke.

"Why… did you do it?" A soft, monotonous voice asked.

"Do what, mage?" He asked, taking a seat beside him.

"Why did you say those things? I don't deserve them. You said you didn't like to use pretty words. You lied." Still monotonous.

Kurogane's gaze was fixated on a run in the carpet. "I said those things because I meant them. And I didn't lie about using pretty words. I hate them. Pretty words are a waste. But I thought you deserved to hear them. And you do," He pressured. "I don't know what happened in your past but even so, I'm willing to forgive you for it. The kid, the princess and the pork bun; they don't know about your past either, but they still love you."

Fai turned his gaze to Kurogane.

"And you?"

Startled, Kurogane's head snapped up. Then after pondering his answer awhile, he spoke. "I love you too."

Fai nodded. And Kurogane could understand that the other man wasn't ready to say anything. But he wrapped his arm around the blonde's shoulder and pulled him into his chest. Tears began to stain his shirt but he didn't mind.

"Thank you… Kuro-riibe(2)."

**A/N: I really hope I did a good job. Tell me what you think. RxR. The purple button awaits you. ( :**

**-twiink**

**(1) Konbanwa- Good Evening.**

**(2) Riibe- Lover**

**(3) Arigatou-gozaimasu – Thank you very much**


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